You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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