He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
