I think i peed on brittanys purse
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
