She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
