Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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