ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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