Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
