dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
