We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize