Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
