WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
two words: eviction party
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
