Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
