i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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