I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
