this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
