I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I had to cum in my sink.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
