Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
