No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
