i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
