Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
In the future we'll all be gay
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
