At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
