I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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