yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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