The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I CAN MOONWALK!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
