"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
