I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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