So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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