It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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