Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
