Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
