I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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