Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
