And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
