I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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