Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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