Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
