Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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