it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
