Nicole vs. Life
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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