careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
