I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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