What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
