Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
