About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
