I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
