no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
