it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
