Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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