the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
