but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
