I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
