You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize