i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
