FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
