Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize