did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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