Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
