last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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