so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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