we have officially lost it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
